7 hours ago with 62082 notes  - via / source




Conversation with my very religious mother

Me: did you know that it is a sin to wear that shirt and you could go to hell?
Mom:
Me: I mean it has mixed fabrics.
Me: According to the bible, that's a sin.
Mom: show me where it says that
Me: levictus 19:19
"'Keep my decrees.
“‘Do not mate different kinds of animals.
“‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
“‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.
Mom:
Mom:
Mom: well just because it says that doesn't mean you can say its a sin and we'll go to hell
Me: so why are people doing that with homosexuality
7 hours ago with 67485 notes  - via / source




7 hours ago with 25322 notes  - via / source




7 hours ago with 1445 notes  - via / source




kit-kat-sb:

iraffiruse:

HURR DURR DURR IMA DOG

I DON’ USUALLY REBLOG SHIT LIKE THIS BUT I LAUGHED SO HARD IT ECHOED

7 hours ago with 278765 notes  - via / source




Your metabolisms reaction to treating it right

Breakfast: what a great start, thank fuck I don't have to start the day in a panic, now I know I have what I need to not have to hold onto anything that comes my way, and I can start focusing on functioning properly
Snack: alright, thanks a lot, I'm glad I trusted you. Another snack came my way and I was able to continue giving you the best possible energy I can deliver
Lunch: gee I needed this, I've been working for a while and need to maintain my hard work. Thanks for feeding me, I'll be able to carry on
Snack: thank you dear
Dinner: hell fucking yeah fish and chips how did you know that's exactly the amount of protein and carbs and fat I needed. Oh? You listened to your cravings? Great! we're really close he always knows what I need
Snack: I'm getting tired but I'm going to have to keep working whilst you sleep, so you still need to fuel me. Until the morning old chum!
15 hours ago with 14194 notes  - via / source




"

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

"

—a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via live-la-bella-e-vita)
15 hours ago with 868678 notes  - via / source




15 hours ago with 5039 notes  - via / source




definitely remember a few times where I started to see signs of trouble.We were on tour, this was the second tour we did together, back in 2010, right before she really started to struggle  +

15 hours ago with 354 notes  - via / source




I definitely need a new therapist...

recovering-for-my-lovely-life:

Mine just said I should eat 1900 calories and that’s it. No more.
Because I was stupid enough to tell her how I struggled with eating much at night and she looked at me as if I’m seriously troubled to become a binge eater or obese or anything… Gosh she’s so…

Fuck off only 1,900 calories? I’m not very active because of health issues but I eat like 2,300 a day and maintain my weight… I’ve been told by many medical professionals that even when a person who suffered from an eating disorder is weight restored they need to eat around 2,500 a day to repair your body. 1,900 isn’t enough calories for your age so fuck your therapist she seems incompetent. I don’t know anyone who eats 2,000 calories a day regardless of their life style. they eat around 2,500 or more and are all perfectly healthy and maintain there weight

15 hours ago with 42 notes  - via / source




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